When a crisis happens in life many people respond with the thought “I don’t have time to meet” or “Life is tough right now and I just can’t meet.”  In actuality you do need to be around small group.  You need to have time to process, to be loved on, to have a shoulder to cry on, to have people who love you around you.

The Small Group is a help in hurting times .  Meeting is not only about the material or the required meetings times per month, it is about giving people who are hurting time to get into conversations about the things that are hurting them.  Dropping off food is great and necessary, but you can’t hear the hurts of the person in a doorstep, casserole drop-off.  Be there for each other. Allow opportunities (enough time together) for conversations to go beyond “how are you doing.”

Many people who have sinned are embarrassed to attend small group or church, when what they really need to do is get back in the presence of God asap. Isolation is Satan’s playground.  When we have messed up or have a family crisis we want seclusion.  This only increases our loneliness and openness to the devil.  Small Group is a place of openness, forgiveness, comfort and love.

A family member of one of your group members dies.  Well, you call off the meeting because life is difficult right now and they “got a lot going on.”  They may feel like or even verbally state that “the last thing I want to do is meet.” Of course they are busy.  Of course they “don’t want to meet.” These responses further express why you have to spend time with them to help them process, to help them grieve, to have a small group around them that is like family.  None of us need to be alone (although we say want to) when depressive times occur.  We need God and we need people who represent God to be around us.  If the leader of the small group is the one hurting, step up and ask them if it is okay for you to do the scheduling of group time and maybe even facilitate the meetings.

So the next time you hear one of these responses from someone in your group, know that this is your time, your responsibility to step up and keep the group wrapped around the hurting.

A common question among Small Groups is “We just finished our current study, what do we do next?”  We try to make it as easy as possible to answer this question at LifePoint Church.

1. We offer a Small Group Health Survey on Groupleader.org. This health chart can be taken ‘by’ or ‘for’ your Small Group by you.  It will give you guidance on which area you need to focus and how to choose your next study.

2. Christmas and January suggestions: -Purpose Driven Connection magazine has a three-week DVD driven study on The Purpose of Christmas (available at The Crosswalk bookstore of LifePoint Church or purposedriven.com/pdcsub). -Jesus, the Early Years by Serendipity                – Take it to the Limit by Andy Stanley, DVD

January:  -Life You’ve Always Wanted by John Ortberg                                       – Life Rules, by Andy Stanley, DVD                                                                             – Twisting the Truth, by Andy Stanley, DVD.

3. Two Church-wide studies a year:  Each year we offer at least two church-wide studies in which every group is asked to participate. In August and January a Group Link event is followed by these 5-6 week studies.  For new groups we practically require every new group go through Great Beginnings by Serendipity. This is a great 6-week study to help new groups  develop a sense of connection.

4. Plan Ahead: A major issue is lack of planning, whether by the staff or by the group.  We are now offering a twelve month plan (as much as possible) for groups as to when they need to decide on Discipleship (what study to do next) Community (suggested party times) and Service (ideas for serving your neighborhood or schools).

Your first six months in a new small group is very similar to your first 6 weeks of dating.  A lot of smiles, weird feelings, politeness and avoidance if uncomfortable with the new group. ‘It’ may not exist.

You probably formed your Small Group based around content, a church-wide campaign or a common interest.  To get a your group started, you may have asked people you did not know very well to be in your small group.  LifePoint even helps small groups start with people they may not know via a Group Link experience.  ‘It’ may be hard to develop.

Your new group formed with out much prior relationship.  It obediently met for the allotted amount of time for the campaign.  Now what?  Some of the couples haphazardly attended.  Other couples became good friends over the few weeks.  Now what?  How can we get ‘it’ in our group?

Here are a few follow-up ideas to deepen ‘it’ (Community) in your group :

1.  Great Beginnings: this is a six-week study to help your group form a stronger bond.  We provide this for all our new groups for free.  It is that important.

2.  Party: there is more to that monthly social that our Mom & Dad made us attend than we thought.  What opportunity is coming up that you could throw a party for? ie: Christmas open house with everyone’s favorite dessert.

3.  Lunches: invite someone in your group to lunch to get to know them more.  Discuss life, passion, hobbies and history more than the small group.  This takes the relationship deeper rather than more institutional (about meetings).

4. Service Project: once again, nothing unites a Small Group more than a common project or common enemy.  Look for service opportunities that unite the group around something outside the group.  ie: Angel Tree child, a local school’s need, community organizations that need help.

5. Re-commit with clear calendar and expectations: both of these are posted on GroupLeader.org for LifePoint Small Groups.  Plan ahead at least two months for now. Schedule meetings (we ask for 2 Bible Study times, 1 party and 1 service project each month) in advance with menus, subjects to be studied, and ask for members to pick a night to host the meeting.  (LP is asking groups to meet 5 times, including the party, between Nov 1 and Dec 31).

Small Groups are a lot like family, life happens, kids get sick, schedules change and sometimes someone gives you Titans’ tickets.  Oh well, let the relationship be stronger than the meeting times.  Grow the relationship more than emphasizing the meetings.

Number one discussion or question for most of our Small Groups is about childcare.  Is it just me or does this question only come up with church related events?  Has Sunday School taught our kids, keep our kids and allowed us the freedom as adults to do what we wanted to for so long that we have released the responsibility of planning for our children?  Okay, enough, let’s get to the answer:

LifePoint’s best answer for childcare is enlisting a student from our church to keep the kids for one hour of Bible Study.  My story:  I asked our Student minister to give me the names of junior or senior high girls who attend LP AND would be attending our student camp.  I contacted them one by one asking if they would be interested in going to camp for free.  Of course, they said ‘yes.’ Then I said our Small Group would take care of that if they would babysit one hour two or three times a month for our Small Group Bible Study time.  Now all I have to do is text them the time and address of our meeting and everyone leaves happy.

At other times we have just paid $5 per family (no matter the number of kids) for the one hour.  This has worked well for over two years now.

We only have the Bible Study for one hour, although our SG time is about two hours.  The kids and babysitter are highly encouraged to eat and hangout with us for the other hour.  We get to know our babysitter better.  She gets to hear adults converse about life, God, work and family.  We also get to hear about their life and camp experience, which we paid for.

Contact your church leadership about some names of people who can babysit for your group.  Build a relationship with the next generation that goes beyond just keeping your kids out of trouble for the hour.  It is about sharing Christ beyond our own group into a teens life.

Over the last week GroupLife of LifePoint has been to Atlanta and back!  History was made as we traveled to Atlanta to meet with Scott Mawdesley of North Point Community Church, Atlanta. We had a wonderful meal on Friday night that would make you kill to be a Coach! groupleader.org

Scott led a development time for the Coaches of GroupLife.  There are always areas in which we need to improve, learn new practices, and be encouraged as a leader in ministry.  Coaches laughed, learned and grew in community over the weekend.  GroupLife is at a historical high with Coaches like these leading the way. groupleader.org

On Tuesday night the Grouplife Celebration Banquet took place at LifePoint Church Smyrna Campus.

Leaders who serve on-campus and off-campus spent time learning about and experiencing Discipleship, Community and Service.  These Leaders came out in record attendance to share smiles, laughter and discussion.  Of course giveaways were plentiful from gift cards for Bass Pro  and Outback and everyone receiving a LifePoint special gift.

Bill Search of Southeast Christian Church, Louisville was our speaker focusing on growing in Discipleship.  Bill shared about keeping the Bible  alive in Small Groups.  He clarified we need to be careful about cliches, home spun wisdom, study choices and opinions.  The Banquet ended with the challenge to read through the Bible and help your group members read through the Bible in 2010.

History was made by GroupLife in this level of development opportunities (groupleader.org) as well as number of participants in each opportunity.  God has plans for each of us.  He has shared the importance of living in community throughout His word.  As you go about life this week share His love and grace with those around you. 

groupleader.org

One of the benefits of off-campus Small Groups is the opportunity to meet in others homes in a casual, open-ended atmosphere.  One of the struggles of off-campus Small Groups are having people open their home to the Small Group on a regular basis.

After several years of working in SG life, we have seen several reasons for people not opening up their home.  Most of these reasons can be categorized in one of the follow issues: size, design, value, transparency or decor.

Comments you may hear:  “My house is just not big enough” or “Our house is not child-proof.” Others say “My house is not as fancy/expensive as most people in our SG.”

The benefit of sharing the load of Small Group by rotating locations of the meetings is to get to know others in your group at a deeper level as you see how they live what they like.  However, for some this level of transparency cannot be expressed because the trust level, the friend level and/or relationships being strong enough yet.

Another benefit of rotating locations is to take the work load off of the same family week-after-week.  My kids don’t like to vacuum, but when we host Small Group in our home, the vacuum and clean.  I love hosting SG at our house, but for my family, sharing the load by hosting once in a while helps every family.

Here are a few pointers that may help in rotating locations:

1. Are we scheduling too late in the week?  If your group does not communicate well or often via text or email, you need to plan ahead even further.  Life happens and schedules are made well in advance, but SG seems to do like Sunday Dinner:  we know 52 weeks in advance Sunday is coming and we will want lunch.  But most of us stand around after worship in the hallways discussing where to go for lunch.  Or we may not go to church, but get up and start discussing it.  Plan ahead.  First discuss individually with some potential families that may host, then open up discussion in a meeting.

2. The size of the group may be hindering hosting.  When a group gets too large (varies by group and perception) people are fearful of opening their home.  A group of 6 or 8 couples with kids seems to need a large space when you consider hosting.  It does not really require that large of space because everyone does not have to have that comfy seat.  We are family.  It is a like Thanksgiving at Mamaw’s house.  Get your food when you can.  Take a seat where you can.  But most of all enjoy the family!

3. When trying to enlist others to host the Small Group be careful to ask in private in advance. Look them in the eye and listen for concerns.  People do not like to say ‘no’ to their friends, but deep concerns will allow them to.  Be compassionate and empathic as you encourage them and do not push this issue.

Hope these help.

It is cold outside.  The pitcher’s mound in my back yard has been tarped for the last month due to excessive rains. Most of the Bugs are finishing up their Rec League fall season, in the middle of football season or cranking up for their basketball practices.  As you can tell these boys are athletes and therefore no down times in the life of a Bug or his family.

We have set the dates for the winter workouts (soon to be released) beginning in December. Coach Chris is currently designing workouts and schedules for the winter. We will also be scheduling optional weeknight skills training for those “who just can’t wait.”  While the football, fall ball and basketball seasons will be helpful for these athletes, we will still need to focus on baseball techniques and plays over the winter.

New Uniforms Are Coming in 2010!  Due to our rigorous schedule of over 130 games in 2008-09 and the players growing and spreading (not as much as the Coaches of course), Coach Pete will be spending the fall getting new uniforms designed and sponsored.   Sponsorship options will be released soon.

A BIG “Thank You” goes out to our Sponsors who made 2009 one of the best Bugs season ever!!!! To see a list of Smyrna Bugs Sponsors check out the Bugs website at http://smyrnabugs.com/sponsors.aspx.

Recently in a Small Group a couple who had joined LifePoint a few years ago shared some insight that many church-goers never hear.  I was all ears when she began to tell her story of two guys who visited her house.

She and her husband visited LP, then FBC Smyrna on a Sunday.  They were not church-goers but decided to visit this big church in town, FBC Smyrna.  They completed the ‘visitor card’ as requested by the guy giving the ‘welcome.’ On Monday, their doorbell rang and two men introduced themselves and said they were glad the couple had visited FBC.  She invited them in and they immediately asked “if you died tonight where would you go?”  For the next 45 minutes the two men kept asking questions and talking a lot like this.  Then they looked at her husband and ask “are you ready to make that decision tonight?”  She said the room was silent for what seemed like 10 minutes.  Then her husband said “no, I am ready to ask you to leave though.”

“We did not go back to that church for over a year and a half.  We were scared to visit any church after that.”  Something happened in their family and they decided to attend that same church with a friend, but did not fill anything out!

Wow, what a lesson.  I was in the middle of school in this Small Group! But thank you God for bringing them back to you through a relationship. This couple is now active at LifePoint and their Small Group.

LifePoint’s daily devotional today says Different audiences require different approaches to communication. Teachers learn about the age group they will teach before they develop lesson plans and step into the classroom. Missionaries learn all they can about the people they will try to reach before engaging that culture. Market researchers identify the wants and needs of their target audience before a company creates a product to sell that audience.

Jesus himself exemplifies this principle. That’s one of the reasons He taught through storytelling. Stories reach people of every educational level and life situation, especially when, like Jesus’ stories, they focus on things those people understand—farming, business, marriage, wayward children and so on. Jesus used stories because He knew they would be effective teaching methods for His particular audience.

Before you try to influence someone for Christ, learn as much as you can about him. Listen to him.  Try to determine an approach that would influence that person, based on personality, background, values, beliefs and interests. Step back and consider what the person would find compelling. What is important to him? What are his fears? What are his needs and desires? What does he value? How does he view the world? Try to step into that person’s shoes and see the world as he sees it. Often your approach to influencing the person will become obvious as you view life from that vantage point.

Before you ever say a word to someone about Jesus, do your homework. Listen.  Learn. Understand. Know. Then and only then are you ready to have influence.

What can you learn on the front porch, with a glass of tea and a few minutes or hours?  The older I get the more I miss the instruction from our elders about life, people, decisions, and love. This past weekend I spent two days on the farm on which I grew up.  We did all the things four guys (three generations of Mosley’s) do, hunted, shot guns, road four-wheelers, planted turnips, worked on the four-wheelers, had great meals prepared by Granny and as well as full-course breakfasts each morning.

Many times over the couple of days I road past my Grandfather’s house where he and I used to sit on the porch and talk.  He would tell stories about stuff like:  “Raw-head and Bloody Bones” (a fictional character that kept us grand-kids close to home); “a dog can whip a skunk, but it ain’t worth it;” ‘always fix extra food in case someone comes by;” “be considerate of others” and “take care of you family.”

He passed away many years ago, but I will always be reminded (and carry with me forever) of the many lessons learned on the porch after supper.

About 21 years ago I married a girl from the country whose father reminds me of my Grandfather.  He spends time on his porch after supper sitting and talking with my kids.  I hear some of the same stories, life lessons, concern for life, concern for others and love for the kids that my Grandpa shared.  I smile as I hear him share because many of these lessons I learned from my Grandpa, others I heard but did not listen, but learned “the hard way.”

Opportunities to sit on the porch and be educated, by men who were not formally educated, are getting fewer.  We rush around from activity to activity and don’t take time to listen, learn and live out the valuable lessons of life from our elders.

I long for the front porch times in life. Are you following the education God allowed you to gain from an ‘uneducated’ man? Are you making time for the front porch, iced tea and elders?

While speaking on Neighborhood and Small Groups in Memphis recently, I suggested that people get out and walk their dogs rather than run the treadmill.  (Something Randy Frazee shares in his book The Connecting Church.) A gentleman began to laugh and had a question. His question was “What if you don’t have a dog but have turtles?” It was a ’slow-moving’ loaded question.

Before I could think of an appropriate comment, he began to share how he has become known as “The Turtle Man” throughout his community.  He actual raises turtles in his back yard. During the holidays he places turtle statues in the front yard and decorates them. Christmas decorations include lighted turtle scenes. He offers tours of his lawn and chats with neighbors.

Every spring he has an ‘open house’  where kids can pet the turtles and learn about raising turtles as he chats with the parents.  Through the conversations he learns about people, his community and is able to share a smile and the “love of Christ.”

In our neighborhood there is a 3-headed dog stuffed animal that makes his/their annual appearance in October.   He often moves around the yard at night, posing in a different location by school bus time.  Most afternoons there are cars stopping in front of the house to locate the dogs new spot.  Kids faces are pressed against the car window hoping to be the first to spot him.  Conversations about the 3-headed dog strike up as we walk the neighborhood.

I am not saying you need to raise turtles or move a 3-headed dog around your yard, BUT what is it that God has given you (wired you with) that can be used to build relationships?  What is unique about your home, lawn, hobbies or interests that God is wanting to use in your life?  Don’t let the holidays pass without an attempt to let God work through you, your home, your hobbies and interests.