Do We Have ‘It’ In Our Group?

Your first six months in a new small group is very similar to your first 6 weeks of dating.  A lot of smiles, weird feelings, politeness and avoidance if uncomfortable with the new group. ‘It’ may not exist.

You probably formed your Small Group based around content, a church-wide campaign or a common interest.  To get a your group started, you may have asked people you did not know very well to be in your small group.  LifePoint even helps small groups start with people they may not know via a Group Link experience.  ‘It’ may be hard to develop.

Your new group formed with out much prior relationship.  It obediently met for the allotted amount of time for the campaign.  Now what?  Some of the couples haphazardly attended.  Other couples became good friends over the few weeks.  Now what?  How can we get ‘it’ in our group?

Here are a few follow-up ideas to deepen ‘it’ (Community) in your group :

1.  Great Beginnings: this is a six-week study to help your group form a stronger bond.  We provide this for all our new groups for free.  It is that important.

2.  Party: there is more to that monthly social that our Mom & Dad made us attend than we thought.  What opportunity is coming up that you could throw a party for? ie: Christmas open house with everyone’s favorite dessert.

3.  Lunches: invite someone in your group to lunch to get to know them more.  Discuss life, passion, hobbies and history more than the small group.  This takes the relationship deeper rather than more institutional (about meetings).

4. Service Project: once again, nothing unites a Small Group more than a common project or common enemy.  Look for service opportunities that unite the group around something outside the group.  ie: Angel Tree child, a local school’s need, community organizations that need help.

5. Re-commit with clear calendar and expectations: both of these are posted on GroupLeader.org for LifePoint Small Groups.  Plan ahead at least two months for now. Schedule meetings (we ask for 2 Bible Study times, 1 party and 1 service project each month) in advance with menus, subjects to be studied, and ask for members to pick a night to host the meeting.  (LP is asking groups to meet 5 times, including the party, between Nov 1 and Dec 31).

Small Groups are a lot like family, life happens, kids get sick, schedules change and sometimes someone gives you Titans’ tickets.  Oh well, let the relationship be stronger than the meeting times.  Grow the relationship more than emphasizing the meetings.

Childcare for My Small Group?

Number one discussion or question for most of our Small Groups is about childcare.  Is it just me or does this question only come up with church related events?  Has Sunday School taught our kids, keep our kids and allowed us the freedom as adults to do what we wanted to for so long that we have released the responsibility of planning for our children?  Okay, enough, let’s get to the answer:

LifePoint’s best answer for childcare is enlisting a student from our church to keep the kids for one hour of Bible Study.  My story:  I asked our Student minister to give me the names of junior or senior high girls who attend LP AND would be attending our student camp.  I contacted them one by one asking if they would be interested in going to camp for free.  Of course, they said ‘yes.’ Then I said our Small Group would take care of that if they would babysit one hour two or three times a month for our Small Group Bible Study time.  Now all I have to do is text them the time and address of our meeting and everyone leaves happy.

At other times we have just paid $5 per family (no matter the number of kids) for the one hour.  This has worked well for over two years now.

We only have the Bible Study for one hour, although our SG time is about two hours.  The kids and babysitter are highly encouraged to eat and hangout with us for the other hour.  We get to know our babysitter better.  She gets to hear adults converse about life, God, work and family.  We also get to hear about their life and camp experience, which we paid for.

Contact your church leadership about some names of people who can babysit for your group.  Build a relationship with the next generation that goes beyond just keeping your kids out of trouble for the hour.  It is about sharing Christ beyond our own group into a teens life.

 

 

 

 

GroupLife Makes History

Over the last week GroupLife of LifePoint has been to Atlanta and back!  History was made as we traveled to Atlanta to meet with Scott Mawdesley of North Point Community Church, Atlanta. We had a wonderful meal on Friday night that would make you kill to be a Coach! groupleader.org

Scott led a development time for the Coaches of GroupLife.  There are always areas in which we need to improve, learn new practices, and be encouraged as a leader in ministry.  Coaches laughed, learned and grew in community over the weekend.  GroupLife is at a historical high with Coaches like these leading the way. groupleader.org

On Tuesday night the Grouplife Celebration Banquet took place at LifePoint Church Smyrna Campus.

Leaders who serve on-campus and off-campus spent time learning about and experiencing Discipleship, Community and Service.  These Leaders came out in record attendance to share smiles, laughter and discussion.  Of course giveaways were plentiful from gift cards for Bass Pro  and Outback and everyone receiving a LifePoint special gift.

Bill Search of Southeast Christian Church, Louisville was our speaker focusing on growing in Discipleship.  Bill shared about keeping the Bible  alive in Small Groups.  He clarified we need to be careful about cliches, home spun wisdom, study choices and opinions.  The Banquet ended with the challenge to read through the Bible and help your group members read through the Bible in 2010.

History was made by GroupLife in this level of development opportunities (groupleader.org) as well as number of participants in each opportunity.  God has plans for each of us.  He has shared the importance of living in community throughout His word.  As you go about life this week share His love and grace with those around you. 

groupleader.org

Small Group Struggles for Host Home

One of the benefits of off-campus Small Groups is the opportunity to meet in others homes in a casual, open-ended atmosphere.  One of the struggles of off-campus Small Groups are having people open their home to the Small Group on a regular basis.

After several years of working in SG life, we have seen several reasons for people not opening up their home.  Most of these reasons can be categorized in one of the follow issues: size, design, value, transparency or decor.

Comments you may hear:  “My house is just not big enough” or “Our house is not child-proof.” Others say “My house is not as fancy/expensive as most people in our SG.”

The benefit of sharing the load of Small Group by rotating locations of the meetings is to get to know others in your group at a deeper level as you see how they live what they like.  However, for some this level of transparency cannot be expressed because the trust level, the friend level and/or relationships being strong enough yet.

Another benefit of rotating locations is to take the work load off of the same family week-after-week.  My kids don’t like to vacuum, but when we host Small Group in our home, the vacuum and clean.  I love hosting SG at our house, but for my family, sharing the load by hosting once in a while helps every family.

Here are a few pointers that may help in rotating locations:

1. Are we scheduling too late in the week?  If your group does not communicate well or often via text or email, you need to plan ahead even further.  Life happens and schedules are made well in advance, but SG seems to do like Sunday Dinner:  we know 52 weeks in advance Sunday is coming and we will want lunch.  But most of us stand around after worship in the hallways discussing where to go for lunch.  Or we may not go to church, but get up and start discussing it.  Plan ahead.  First discuss individually with some potential families that may host, then open up discussion in a meeting.

2. The size of the group may be hindering hosting.  When a group gets too large (varies by group and perception) people are fearful of opening their home.  A group of 6 or 8 couples with kids seems to need a large space when you consider hosting.  It does not really require that large of space because everyone does not have to have that comfy seat.  We are family.  It is a like Thanksgiving at Mamaw’s house.  Get your food when you can.  Take a seat where you can.  But most of all enjoy the family!

3. When trying to enlist others to host the Small Group be careful to ask in private in advance. Look them in the eye and listen for concerns.  People do not like to say ‘no’ to their friends, but deep concerns will allow them to.  Be compassionate and empathic as you encourage them and do not push this issue.

Hope these help.

Smyrna Bugs Baseball UPDATE

It is cold outside.  The pitcher’s mound in my back yard has been tarped for the last month due to excessive rains. Most of the Bugs are finishing up their Rec League fall season, in the middle of football season or cranking up for their basketball practices.  As you can tell these boys are athletes and therefore no down times in the life of a Bug or his family.

We have set the dates for the winter workouts (soon to be released) beginning in December. Coach Chris is currently designing workouts and schedules for the winter. We will also be scheduling optional weeknight skills training for those “who just can’t wait.”  While the football, fall ball and basketball seasons will be helpful for these athletes, we will still need to focus on baseball techniques and plays over the winter.

New Uniforms Are Coming in 2010!  Due to our rigorous schedule of over 130 games in 2008-09 and the players growing and spreading (not as much as the Coaches of course), Coach Pete will be spending the fall getting new uniforms designed and sponsored.   Sponsorship options will be released soon.

A BIG “Thank You” goes out to our Sponsors who made 2009 one of the best Bugs season ever!!!! To see a list of Smyrna Bugs Sponsors check out the Bugs website at http://smyrnabugs.com/sponsors.aspx.

Influencing for the Kingdom

Recently in a Small Group a couple who had joined LifePoint a few years ago shared some insight that many church-goers never hear.  I was all ears when she began to tell her story of two guys who visited her house.

She and her husband visited LP, then FBC Smyrna on a Sunday.  They were not church-goers but decided to visit this big church in town, FBC Smyrna.  They completed the ‘visitor card’ as requested by the guy giving the ‘welcome.’ On Monday, their doorbell rang and two men introduced themselves and said they were glad the couple had visited FBC.  She invited them in and they immediately asked “if you died tonight where would you go?”  For the next 45 minutes the two men kept asking questions and talking a lot like this.  Then they looked at her husband and ask “are you ready to make that decision tonight?”  She said the room was silent for what seemed like 10 minutes.  Then her husband said “no, I am ready to ask you to leave though.”

“We did not go back to that church for over a year and a half.  We were scared to visit any church after that.”  Something happened in their family and they decided to attend that same church with a friend, but did not fill anything out!

Wow, what a lesson.  I was in the middle of school in this Small Group! But thank you God for bringing them back to you through a relationship. This couple is now active at LifePoint and their Small Group.

LifePoint’s daily devotional today says Different audiences require different approaches to communication. Teachers learn about the age group they will teach before they develop lesson plans and step into the classroom. Missionaries learn all they can about the people they will try to reach before engaging that culture. Market researchers identify the wants and needs of their target audience before a company creates a product to sell that audience.

Jesus himself exemplifies this principle. That’s one of the reasons He taught through storytelling. Stories reach people of every educational level and life situation, especially when, like Jesus’ stories, they focus on things those people understand—farming, business, marriage, wayward children and so on. Jesus used stories because He knew they would be effective teaching methods for His particular audience.

Before you try to influence someone for Christ, learn as much as you can about him. Listen to him.  Try to determine an approach that would influence that person, based on personality, background, values, beliefs and interests. Step back and consider what the person would find compelling. What is important to him? What are his fears? What are his needs and desires? What does he value? How does he view the world? Try to step into that person’s shoes and see the world as he sees it. Often your approach to influencing the person will become obvious as you view life from that vantage point.

Before you ever say a word to someone about Jesus, do your homework. Listen.  Learn. Understand. Know. Then and only then are you ready to have influence.

Educated by an Uneducated Man

What can you learn on the front porch, with a glass of tea and a few minutes or hours?  The older I get the more I miss the instruction from our elders about life, people, decisions, and love. This past weekend I spent two days on the farm on which I grew up.  We did all the things four guys (three generations of Mosley’s) do, hunted, shot guns, road four-wheelers, planted turnips, worked on the four-wheelers, had great meals prepared by Granny and as well as full-course breakfasts each morning.

Many times over the couple of days I road past my Grandfather’s house where he and I used to sit on the porch and talk.  He would tell stories about stuff like:  “Raw-head and Bloody Bones” (a fictional character that kept us grand-kids close to home); “a dog can whip a skunk, but it ain’t worth it;” ‘always fix extra food in case someone comes by;” “be considerate of others” and “take care of you family.”

He passed away many years ago, but I will always be reminded (and carry with me forever) of the many lessons learned on the porch after supper.

About 21 years ago I married a girl from the country whose father reminds me of my Grandfather.  He spends time on his porch after supper sitting and talking with my kids.  I hear some of the same stories, life lessons, concern for life, concern for others and love for the kids that my Grandpa shared.  I smile as I hear him share because many of these lessons I learned from my Grandpa, others I heard but did not listen, but learned “the hard way.”

Opportunities to sit on the porch and be educated, by men who were not formally educated, are getting fewer.  We rush around from activity to activity and don’t take time to listen, learn and live out the valuable lessons of life from our elders.

I long for the front porch times in life. Are you following the education God allowed you to gain from an ‘uneducated’ man? Are you making time for the front porch, iced tea and elders?

Turtles in Your Neighborhood

While speaking on Neighborhood and Small Groups in Memphis recently, I suggested that people get out and walk their dogs rather than run the treadmill.  (Something Randy Frazee shares in his book The Connecting Church.) A gentleman began to laugh and had a question. His question was “What if you don’t have a dog but have turtles?” It was a ’slow-moving’ loaded question.

Before I could think of an appropriate comment, he began to share how he has become known as “The Turtle Man” throughout his community.  He actual raises turtles in his back yard. During the holidays he places turtle statues in the front yard and decorates them. Christmas decorations include lighted turtle scenes. He offers tours of his lawn and chats with neighbors.

Every spring he has an ‘open house’  where kids can pet the turtles and learn about raising turtles as he chats with the parents.  Through the conversations he learns about people, his community and is able to share a smile and the “love of Christ.”

In our neighborhood there is a 3-headed dog stuffed animal that makes his/their annual appearance in October.   He often moves around the yard at night, posing in a different location by school bus time.  Most afternoons there are cars stopping in front of the house to locate the dogs new spot.  Kids faces are pressed against the car window hoping to be the first to spot him.  Conversations about the 3-headed dog strike up as we walk the neighborhood.

I am not saying you need to raise turtles or move a 3-headed dog around your yard, BUT what is it that God has given you (wired you with) that can be used to build relationships?  What is unique about your home, lawn, hobbies or interests that God is wanting to use in your life?  Don’t let the holidays pass without an attempt to let God work through you, your home, your hobbies and interests.

Principles from My House (and Small Groups)

There are basic principles we all live by.  When I was growing up our family had basic principles that it behooved you to follow.  You never came to the dinner table without a shirt on, don’t care how hot it was.  You always offered visitors something to drink.  One shouldn’t mow their grass on Sunday, that is the day of/to rest.  Always say thank you! Never put your shoes on the kitchen counter, even when you are cleaning or shining them.  Don’t talk back to your mother (took a few years to really understand this one). Everyone should be seen as good people, some just haven’t arrived yet. And in our family, conflicts or issues would arise when someone tried to live outside these principles.

I have come to view SG world in much the same fashion as a family and with basic principles by which to live.  About 80% of our issues, problems or conflicts in SG come from Leaders or Members never discussing or living by basic principles.  This principles are spelled out in most covenants and we know after a few months if the group has discussed these principles or covenant. (We are now calling the ‘covenant’ an ‘agreement upon expectations’.)

Here are a few of the principles we stress at LifePoint: (some of them original to LP, others borrowed from Saddleback, Willow Creek or North Point).  You can find more information about each of them at GroupLeader.org

1. Discipleship, Community, and Service are our three objectives for every Small Group. Check your group life often to see if they are being lived out.
2. Apprenticing through the process of  Crawl, Walk then Run should be on your mind always. Every Leader is expected to enlist an apprentice and help them learn to lead by giving them a sentence, section or study they lead.
3. Sharing the load of SG is a MUST! It gives belonging to a person and gives you energy to live on in SG. Discover every group members passion/interest/hobby and let them own a part of the group.
4. Quarterly I2I Parties are expected so that you can influence others as you have been influenced.  Plan a party/social once every three months so you can invite your neighbors or friends.
5. Curriculum Guide, we help you choose your group’s next study by giving you a list of LifePoint approved resources, many based on LP’s five expectations.
6. Accountability: let others walk in your life as you walk in theirs. Be transparent and others will be also.  Speak into their lives as you allow them to speak into yours.
7. Covenant, agree upon expectations early in the group’s life or there will be problems ahead as you do life as a family together. Below is a covenant (list of expectations as a sample)

It is important that your group agree on a list of expectations. Setting these guidelines is the first step toward real Christian community. We will meet on _______ at ___ o’clock for 6 weeks. Childcare will be provided by ____________Food will be _____________

We agree to…

Discipleship

• make our meetings a priority
• have Bible study at least 2 times per month
• pray for the lost
• worship personally in quiet time and corporately
• develop future leaders
• allow everyone to participate in discussion
• challenge each other on our path to growing to be like Christ

Community

• host monthly socials and quarterly I2I events
• allow group members to hold us accountable to the commitments we make
• share the work load of small group
• call on each other at any time
• respect each other’s opinions
• keep discussions confidential unless permission is granted

Service

• encourage members to serve each other as needed
• serve God through on-campus opportunities of LifePoint Church
• serve the world by praying for, encouraging people to go, and/or support participants of mission experiences,
• serve the community by identifying a project, whether monthly or annually or on-going, that our group will adopt.

Head to Groupleader.org for more information.

Smyrna Bugs 2nd in Wood Bat Classic

Stepping into a new/old era of baseball tournaments, the Smyrna Bugs take second in The Music City Wood Bat Classic Tournament for 11u.  Although the Bugs (made up of 9s and 10s) play in 10 year olds and under, there were not enough 10u teams to make a tournament, so we played up.

I wish you could have been there to see the wood bats hit a lot of grounders and infield flies.  In three games, only four hits made it to the outfield grass.  It was a tournament of strategy, pitching and a few clutch bunts.  It was also the first tournament with additions of  Justin and Luke and the absence of Alex who was not able to play due to broken arm (he did sit in dugout and eat nachos though).

To sum up the Bugs performance I would have to say pitching and bunting topped the weekend.  Gresham threw harder than ever with Brandon and Dylan closing out the first game.  Game two saw Aaron going the entire game to get the win.  Key plays would have to be the bunts by Steven and running bases by Patrick, Gresham, and Steven, especially since the game was only 3-1.

Game three was all about strategy and solid infield.  Brandon and Dylan combined to shut down the opposers with Dylan introducing the talon pitch.  It was a pitch as ugly and confusing as it sounds and caused the batter to almost come out of his shoes as he swung.  Must be something Coach Wes picked up on the farm and it will be a pitch to watch for in the future.  A few key hits and great base running strategy led to a 4-1 win.

In the end it was the Smyrna Bugs 2-1 on the day and went home with a trophy plaque for each player.  Thank you All Star Contractors for sponsoring the Bugs in the 2009 Music City Wood Bat Classic.